For context:
I have a group text with two of my friends - two of the best friends I could ever ask for.
One day, I was telling them how much I appreciate them. I told them that they are like the toilet paper you so desperately need in the middle of life's shit storm. But they aren't that 1-ply garbage that leaves both your ass and your hand feeling shitty - they are luxury TP.
Since that day our group text chat has been named Luxury TP.
Yesterday, one of them sent a song to our group chat that was about finding your people (in fact, that's the title). I said, half joking, that I was going to write a song for Luxury TP and, as it often happens, inspiration struck and a song was born.
Here it is.
(if you want to listen this is what ai cooked up using the lyrics)
Luxury TP
I used to think that real friends were the ones you grew up with
The playground promises, the teenage drama bullshit
But we were just kids throwing paint at the wall
Hoping somebody’s hands would catch us if we fall.
Then the twenties hit hard, and the thirties got real
And I learned how hard it can be just to stay at the wheel.
I didn’t need a crowd, didn't need a cheap thrill
I just needed women who could keep the world still.
And life is a shitstorm - let’s call it what it is
A relentless parade of bad days and bad biz.
When the thunder rolls in and the mud hits the floor
You don’t panic or judge, you just walk through the door.
Yeah, life is a mess, but you keep me sane
The luxury TP in the middle of the rain.
No cheap 1-ply trash that’ll tear at the seam
You’re ultra plush comfort, the ultimate team.
You never hold back when I’m losing my head
You say the hard truth that needs to be said.
No passive-aggressive, no walking on glass
Just real adult love that’ll check my whole ass.
When I call at midnight, you don't ask me why
You just ask where I am and listen to me cry.
No trying to fix it or tell me I'm fine
You just sit in the heavy holding a lifeline.
Cause life is a shitstorm - let’s call it what it is
A relentless parade of bad days and bad biz.
When the thunder rolls in and the mud hits the floor
You don’t panic or judge, you just walk through the door.
Yeah, life is a mess, but you keep me sane
The luxury TP in the middle of the rain.
No cheap 1-ply trash that’ll tear at the seam
You’re ultra plush comfort, the ultimate team.
We found each other late, but we found each other right
Not bound by the past, just the present tonight.
Every notification that pops on my screen
From "Luxury TP" is the best thing I've seen.
A reminder that out in a world made of fake
There are two solid women who don't let me break.
Soft when I’m hurting, strong when I’m weak
The zero-judgment anchor to the answers I seek.
Here’s to the storms, let 'em blow, let 'em rage
We’re rewriting what friendship means on every page.
Luxury TP till the day that we die
The best kind of friends that money can't buy.
